Potty Training 101

God help me. Please HELP ME! Potty training a toddler can be challenging. Potty training TWO toddlers is challenging and MESSY. Earlier this week Kate declared that she wanted to wear BIG girl panties. Sweet! I am excited, but that just blew a hole in this weeks activities. Now we have to stay home for a few days and potty train. That means mommy will be cleaning pee off the floor and bribing my sweet children with Dora and Princess stickers to sit on the potty. Here is how the week has gone.

Day one of potty training. I have decided to use the naked baby technique. Great. My kids are running around my house, naked and peeing everywhere. Jesus help me. I had planned on cleaning and mopping today. That isn't going to happen. I need a margarita for lunch. Make that two margaritas. By 11 am we are completely out of cotton training panties and I am currently rummaging through the house for spare towels. I have already texted Jason to bring me some tequila STAT when he gets off work. After lunch, the day gets better. The girls are both celebrating success! Mommy is making a complete fool of herself by making up a tee tee & poo poo song and dancing. It's the small things that make life sweet. By the end of the day I have handed out 11 stickers for peeing on the potty! That is triumphant considering we were having NO potty action beforehand.

Day two of potty training. I let the girls run around naked all morning. We had only one accident. Mommy dances! We have a playdate in a public place. Oh balls. I am NOT ready for my kids to wear panties in public. They are not ready to wear panties in public. I slip a diaper on them with strict instructions that they are only for accidents. This is the slippery slope of potty training. This is where many fail and never return. We get home from our playdate and strip the clothes again. Nothing is cuter than toddler butt. Seriously. I can't help but peak and laugh at my kids running around the house naked. It's hilarious! And this new found freedom has them on a silly streak!

We are on day three of potty training today. So far, so good. No major accidents. I have been chasing Jillian around the house trying to coax her with Dora stickers to poop in the potty. For some reason - pooping in the potty is a HUGE deal for toddlers. She keeps asking for a 'big girl pany' which means one thing - poop. Oh hells no. You are not pooping in a cotton panty. I have caught her hiding a couple of times and given her stern warnings. Please God, I don't want to pick up poop from the carpet. Please!